Hell Hath No Furyan
by MarnieWasThere
Summary: FF7/Riddick crossover mostly Turks Reno when Rude's past comes back to haunt him, it's Reno who ends up paying the price. Humour, naughtiness but no sex; some swearing-this IS Reno! Complete. The canons are close but not 100% accurate in both cases; it's my take on a story that took my interest.


Hell hath no Furyan

Even for Rude the behaviour was odd. Reno scrubbed a hand through the wild scarlet shrub of his hair and frowned at his partner. Bigger than him in height and build Rude was also dark skinned and shaven headed; taciturn to an astonishing degree he and Reno were as opposite as two humans could get which was possibly why their partnership endured so successfully. Other colleagues came and went within the Shinra ranks but they, along with their superior Tseng, and one other new operative who was responsible for Reno's latest bad habit of grinding his teeth at night until they ached, were the mainstay of the once great department known colloquially as The Turks.

Of course their job description had changed radically; there was less blowing stuff up, assassination, extortion and kidnapping and more…well…socially supportive acts as President Shinra liked to call them. These acts frequently turned out to be security and courier jobs with a little search and rescue thrown in for good measure. It was safer, for sure, but Reno wasn't at all certain security suited him as a lifestyle. Adrenalin had been his drug of choice; now he was forced to find other ways of raising his heart rate.

But through it all he and Rude had worked as a team. Put together shortly after completing their initial training they had both been mavericks of sorts. He suspected their superiors had hoped they would either complement one another or kill each other before their first mission was complete: It had luckily turned out to be the former.

Beyond the fact he hated mustard and was peculiarly shy around members of the opposite sex Reno knew relatively little about his partner on a personal level. He was phenomenally strong and built like a Shinra brick house: He spoke only when he had something to say and could take a man's head off with one blow if enraged sufficiently. Reno was quite good at the enraging part; it was making sure someone else paid for it that was sometimes a little tricky. But as far as where Rude came from, whether or not he had close living family and where he spent the off-duty hours when he wasn't with Reno: Well, it didn't matter and the redheaded man didn't particularly care. His own background was grim to put it mildly; a nightmare past he didn't care to resurrect or share. So if Rude felt the same who was he to push him? But the way the big man was acting right now was downright weird.

For the third or fourth time Rude pushed himself away from his desk and went to stand by the plate glass window which took up almost half of one wall. Their office was not large by any means; with two desks and twice that many filing cabinets space was not abundant but the view they had over the rapidly renewing city was a good one. Reno usually took great advantage of it as he drank countless cups of sludgy Shinra coffee and sharpened endless pencils down to stubs. Anything in fact to avoid actually doing any paperwork.

That was also strange. Rude's desk was usually clear by mid-morning; patient and methodical he was nearly always a day or two ahead of his colleague where reports were concerned yet his desk looked not dissimilar to Reno's right now; an avalanche of paper tottering dangerously close to collapse. Now that Reno really thought about it, Rude had been restless for most of the week. Ever since that letter had arrived to be precise.

As usual Strife had been too precious to say where it had come from when Reno had casually asked but it looked battered; stained and bent as if it had travelled a long way for a long time. He had asked Rude about it once the yellow haired courier had left but he had merely grunted some noncommittal reply and scrunched the missive into the pocket of his dark suit pants. Reno had not pursued the issue, a call had come through for them to go meet some visiting prospective investor or something, he couldn't quite recall which; all escort duties tended to blur. All he did remember clearly was being restrained by Rude at the end of the day when he threatened to knock the visitor's brains out of his backside as retribution for pinching his own. Even if the guy hadn't been old, grizzled and disgusting Reno did not swing that way and was offended anyone would take such liberties. Not so long ago the very name of The Turks would send scum scattering for their bolt holes. He sighed gustily and slapped down the piece of paper he'd just finished desecrating.

"So what's up Rude?" He sat back in his chair lifting its front legs from the floor and stretched cat-like, his hands locking behind his head as he grinned lazily at his partner. The dark man half turned from his study of the city below, his eyes hidden as always behind the shaded glasses he wore. He looked to be thinking; possibly even considering telling Reno what was wrong. Frowning slightly the redheaded man got to his feet, padded over to the window and peered through the darkened lenses of Rude's glasses. "Seriously man, if you have a problem tell me."

For a second or two all he could see were his own pale blue eyes reflected back at him then Rude shifted his stance to face him a little more squarely and his partner's dark eyes became visible through the glasses. The neat goatee beard on the taller man's chin twitched as if with the effort of liberating his next words.

"Not here," he said in his deep rumbling voice. He glanced at the monitor in the high corner of the ceiling and muttered," I'll tell you in the bar later… maybe."

Reno's pulse jumped with an almost forgotten excitement. He hadn't seen his partner this uptight since the days when Shinra was the despot of the region. If the big man didn't want to speak within the company confines then his problem most definitely fell outside of Shinra interests. The thought of a little off the books action made the redheaded man's blood stir and as he walked jauntily back to his desk he swung open the cupboard behind it and pulled out his woefully redundant combat weapon.

The electro mag-rod clipped to a ring on his belt when not in use and to a wrist band when it was. Skilled to a deadly degree in its application Reno had dispatched many an opponent who underestimated it because it didn't fire bullets. Of course they were useful too. Digging in the back of his desk draw he located a small hand gun which, having checked its clip and action, he tucked snugly into the holster which nestled in the small of his back.

The hands of the clock on the wall ticked off the last five minutes of their official working day and it was all Reno could do not to hustle his implacable partner out of the building and down into the bustling underbelly of the city where all of the best bars were located.

Even though it was a bit of a walk they made for Seventh Heaven, the bar run by Tifa Lockheart; Cloud Strife's squeeze as far as Reno could make out anyway. There were many reasons for this; the drink was cheap if monotonous and vile, the food relatively digestible and best of all it annoyed the hell out of Strife to have to allow them in there. So long as they paid good gil Tifa could not afford to shun their custom. It made every mouthful twice as sweet as far as Reno was concerned. He suspected that his partner nursed an unrequited longing for the buxom liquid eyed bar maid too although explorations into that area of information had produced rather painful results on the few occasions Reno had been foolish enough to push the issue, so he satisfied himself with simply baiting the woman's partner. It was good sport.

Once seated at their regular tucked away table with jars of the house speciality, some kind of fruit laced wine, Reno leaned forward his eyes alight with eagerness.

"Ok so tell me."

Rude raised one eyebrow above the metal frame of his glasses. "I'm not so sure I should."

"Wha…" Reno gasped. "You can't just change your mind like that! You said you were Ok about telling me."

"No," Rude took a swallow of his drink. "I just said I didn't want to discuss things at Shinra."

Reno duplicated his partner's action grimacing as the alcohol caught on its way down. If anyone but Rude had been sitting across from him he'd suspect them of laughing at him. Grumpily he traced lines in the moisture on the table then wiped his fingers on the jacket of his rather rumpled suit adding to the collection of stains on its surface.

"My family are not from this area," Rude said quietly without preamble. Reno looked up sharply but bit his tongue to keep it still. "My parents left our birth place when the troubles started there. The Alphas were getting out of control; too many of them surviving, not enough wars to keep them happy. I'm not an Alpha but I have a cousin who is. He wasn't supposed to live; he was one of the ones designated for extermination." He stopped to sip again taking in Reno's face; eyes wide, jaw open. "Have you heard of Furyans?"

The red haired man nodded mutely afraid that any speech might stop the tale being told.

"Well I'm one," Rude smiled grimly. "Like I said I'm not an Alpha but even ordinarys are pretty damn strong by Gaia standards."

"You never said!" Reno snapped his mouth shut but the words escaped before he did so. Rude shook his head.

"I was advised not to. A few people know; Shinra, Tseng," he stared at his partner through the darkened lenses," and now you. There's still a price on Furyan heads in some parts and they don't stop to find out if you're an Alpha or not; they never quite forgave us for trying to overthrow the government all those years ago."

Reno gulped down another mouthful of the awful wine as he bought time to think. He knew the stories; everyone did. The Furyans had been legendary, their strength well above that of other races on Gaia. It was said they'd come from another world but no-one knew for sure. There'd been an uprising decades ago, before Reno's time; the Furyans had tried to take control of the world. By the miracle of science and Shinra's early development of SOLDIER they'd been defeated and that was when the edict had been issued for all Alpha Furyans to be murdered at birth. It had been hoped that by wiping out the superior strain their bloodline would revert to ordinary levels and no-one would be strong enough to threaten the elite SOLDIER force which was now defunct anyway. Rude was living proof that that had not quite happened and, apart from military application, no known Furyan was permitted to carry weapons or live as a freeman.

"The letter was from my cousin."

"The dead one?"

"I didn't say he was dead." Rude grinned again. "I said he wasn't supposed to live but then Riddick has never done was he was supposed to."

Reno's face became pale and he gripped the edge of the table hard enough to make his knuckles white.

"Riddick as in Richard B: The most wanted man in known territory is your cousin?"

"Shhh!" Rude glanced around at the unconcerned faces of the other patrons. "He's family. If he asks for help then I give it; he doesn't ask lightly."

The implications of Cloud Strife having unknowingly smuggled a letter from a man wanted by every government from here to the edge of the known world dissolved Reno into hysterical giggles. If only there was some way of making that fact known he'd have the little worm's ass locked up somewhere until hell froze over. He sobered slightly at the expression on his partner's face. There was, of course, no way he could do that for now but once this Riddick was gone…he permitted himself one last snigger as Strife himself frowned over at him from the bar.

"So where is he?" he asked Rude. The dark man placed his glass carefully back onto the table.

"I don't know," he admitted. "He'll make contact once he's inside the city."

"How will he know where to find you?"

Rude smiled humourlessly. "Oh, he'll find me; don't you worry about that."

"So what does he need?"

"Shelter; a place to rest up and transport out of the area once he's done here. He's apparently tracking someone – a girl called Jack."

Reno frowned. "Is that a Furyan thing?"

Rude sighed heavily. "Obviously that isn't her real name; it's an alias she travels under. Her name is Kyra and she was last known to be in the company of mercenaries."

Reno sat back in his seat and whistled softly. "Is she hunting him or is this some fucked up star crossed lovers thing?"

Rude shrugged apparently unconcerned. "I just need to meet my family obligations and get him the hell out of here without getting caught in any damn crossfire myself."

"Why tell me?" Reno stared at the man opposite him. Rude grinned, this time with real warmth.

"You're my partner aren't you?"

…

They had left the bar shortly after; Cloud Strife's Mako enhanced eyes glaring behind them and made their way to the sector where Rude was housed. His apartment was sparse but tidy and Reno had slept on the couch more than once or twice after a hard night of carousing. People thought he was a drunk but he never took more than he could handle. That's why he was still alive. He'd seen what slow reflexes could result in and he'd seen what addiction could do. He needed the release of chemicals but never past the point of being able to defend himself. He'd only done that once right at the beginning. He'd had luck on his side that night but luck was a notoriously fickle beast and he knew better than to put too much reliance on it. It had also been luck that had saved his skin the one time he underestimated an opponent too but he'd learned a valuable lesson even if it had cost him his pretty face. If others chose to see him as a drunk that was fine, he'd beat them every time and if he ever came close to forgetting what underestimating someone could do, the two tattooed scarlet stripes on his cheekbones and the scars beneath them were there to remind him.

He stood back as Rude keyed in his access code then jumped as the man was snatched forward and obviously thrown across the floor of his living room. Unclipping the mag rod Reno shook it down to its extended length and pressed the button to activate the charge in it. He swung hard as he stepped forward and felt the smack of flesh and metal as it met its target. There was a sizzle as its power seared the skin of whoever he had hit, a crump as someone heavy hit the ground. An awful premonition stole over him as he edged fully into the entryway. In front of him lay the bulk of a man as big as, if not bigger than Rude. Like his partner the unconscious stranger wore dark shades over his eyes – goggles rather than glasses – legend had it Riddick wore such shades to protect his shine job pupils from daylight. Reno gulped hard and looked over to where Rude was slowly picking himself up and rubbing his head to clear it. There could be no doubt. He had just shocked one of the most dangerous men alive; Reno could only hope he'd live long enough to enjoy the achievement once the already twitching Richard B Riddick came around fully.

Rude had removed his glasses and was rubbing his eyes to clear them. He looked up and an expression of disbelief settled on his face. He glanced from Reno to Riddick then back again before a guffaw of laughter erupted from him. Reno had never heard such mirth from the quiet man before and stood frozen in the doorway. On the ground Riddick growled in the same gruff baritone which was obviously a family trait in Rude's tribe. Unsteadily he rolled over to his knees and glared furiously at the man who had attacked him.

"You're dead," he muttered between clenched teeth.

"Whoa, whoa," Rude scrambled to his feet and hurried over to place himself between his cousin and his partner. "He didn't know it was you; all he saw was me being attacked."

Riddick, also on his feet by this time, rubbed a hand over his own shaven head unconsciously echoing Rude. A livid red stripe bisected the back of one shoulder and Reno retracted the rod as quietly as he possibly could before reattaching it to his belt.

The goggles turned on him; two wells of black obscuring the supposedly silver eyes behind them completely. Holding up his hands in an attitude of supplication he said hastily,

"Yo, I never would have attacked if I'd known who you were, you know?"

For a second or two they stood frozen; a tableau of anger then, to Reno's astonishment, Riddick grinned and turned to look at Rude.

"Didn't know Shinra rats had so much spirit. Good to know someone is watching your back."

The redhead bristled slightly at the derogatory epithet but took solace in the backhanded compliment. Stepping forward he pushed the door of the apartment closed and edged around the Furyan to get to the living room.

"When did you get here?" he heard Rude ask.

Watching the two men Reno got no sense of closeness or affection if anything there was a wariness to Rude's speech and actions which puzzled him.

"About an hour or so back," Riddick shrugged wincing a little as his skin pulled over its electrical burn. "Figured I'd give you a little welcome home."

"No need," Rude said succinctly. "This is not Furya; you have no need to assert dominance or prove anything. They don't do that here."

The Furyan smirked and looked over at Reno. "Don't think he knows that."

Without waiting for a reply Riddick went to the kitchen area and helped himself to food from the cupboard. His clothes – a simple singlet and trousers - were dusty and worn, the cloak puddled on the floor stained with travel. Chances were it was the first food he'd eaten in some time but the way he bolted it still shocked Reno on a small level. Despite his size and build Richard B Riddick was after all, just a man, he thought slightly disappointed. Somehow he'd hoped for more.

"Did you find anything?" he realised Riddick was addressing Rude through mouthfuls of cracker crumbs. His partner shook his head.

"What made you think she'd be here?"

Riddick swallowed with difficulty, reached into the fridge and chugged some milk. Reno made a mental note to take his coffee black.

"The bunch she signed with were headed this way to put down some reported monsters. I lost them at Wutai; a little run in with local law enforcement." The wolfish grin was at once both strange and oddly familiar. Physically Riddick and Rude were alike, personally they were poles apart. Though he often teased him cruelly about it Reno understood there was a softness at the core of his partner, a lingering streak of humanity which still prompted him to do the honourable thing in situations where it was not always the easy alternative. He got no sense of that in Riddick. At the heart of this man was flint. He was a warrior bred and honed through hardship to survive at all costs. They could have done with him a few years ago he reflected mutely. Out loud he said,

"Did you come across an annoying little ninja brat?"

"Yeah," Riddick drawled, "she was the one I ran across."

"She's a princess of the area," Rude said.

"Didn't know that till I whaled on her ass and found myself surrounded with two dozen palace guard." He replaced the milk and wiped a hand across his mouth. "Good prisons; took me almost a month to break out."

"Do you have any more information on this girl you're looking for?" Reno spoke up and saw Riddick look accusingly at his kinsman. "Don't worry I won't tell anyone. It's just the more you can give us the easier it might be to find her."

The Furyan sucked at his teeth and studied the man before him unhurriedly.

"She came from New Mecca," he rumbled at last, "and probably has some local form before she left."

"Ok," Reno nodded. "I'm going to go back and do a little digging while you guys…er…catch up. I'll be back in a couple of hours."

Rude escorted him to the door and said quietly as he was about to leave,

"Don't get caught."

"Do I ever?" Reno grinned insolently.

…

The night seemed suddenly more alive and although the stars were hidden behind a veil of green Mako pollution Reno felt them as pinpoints of power. His footsteps sounded crisp and a little too loud in the darkness especially, he noted, when they faltered and tripped behind him. Without breaking stride he swung around the corner of the alleyway and flattened himself against its wall. Whoever was following him hesitated realising they'd been made then cautiously began to tiptoe forward. The slither of metal as the mag-rod unfurled sounded far too loud but went apparently un-noted by his would be assailant. There was a step then another followed by the unmistakeable snick of a gun being cocked. Reno steadied his breathing, shifted his weight onto one foot and readied himself to attack.

First came a shadow then the sound of breathing; gauging the whereabouts of his attacker carefully he swung and for the second time that night felt the jar of contact as the mag-rod hit home. Without waiting to see if his attacker was conscious or not he cannoned out of the alley and promptly tripped over the prone form lying across its mouth. Catching himself he turned quickly and stared horrified, at his fallen follower. Trouble, it seemed, rarely travelled alone. He would have to go back to Rude's apartment now as he had no way of knowing how long his footsteps had been dogged. Picking up the slack body he began to retrace his path stumbling now and again under the burden he was carrying.

His legs were like jelly by the time he leaned against the buzzer beside Rude's door. When it was opened he dumped the body into his partner's arms and staggered inside to collapse on the couch. From the bathroom came the sound of running water and he figured Riddick was taking a long overdue shower. Rude, his face a very similar picture to that of Reno just a little earlier, stood dumbstruck in the middle of the room his arms full of limp body.

"Explain," he said at last.

"She was following me," Reno said. "She probably saw us come home and waited for one of us to leave again."

"Why would she do that?"

"I don't know!" Reno snapped, "Maybe she has the hots for you or something! I have no idea why she does half the shit she does!"

Rude stared down at the fourth member of The Turks and shook his head slowly.

"No, Elena likes Tseng."

"Really?" Reno brightened at the unexpected nugget of gossip then frowned again. "That is so bad on so many levels. If she goes brown-nosing telling him we have a fugitive here…"

His thoughts were interrupted by Elena moaning quietly as she began to come round. Due to her diminutive stature she had caught the blow from Reno's mag-rod across one temple. An angry red weal perched above one eye which was already swelling and closing. Its partner however was open halfway. From beneath the lowered lid the rich brown orb smouldered with rising fury, terrifying golden glints of anger flared in the iris as Elena began to wriggle and squirm in an effort to regain her feet.

Reno stepped quickly behind the couch, its bulk offering some kind of imaginary security. Already there was a throbbing phantom pain at the nape of his neck as he recalled his last run-in with the female Turk. She had swung on his ponytail like some kind of demented monkey threatening to sever the hair from his scalp. Despite her small size Elena was very strong and because her fists were so tiny her blows stung even more than full on punches.

Without effort Rude set her down but kept her arms pinioned firmly behind her.

"Let me go you great ape!" her voice was shrill enough to make both men squint with discomfort and did not stop until Riddick's bulk filled the doorway of the bedroom.

"Shut up," he said laconically and, to Reno's astonishment, she did. In the heavy silence he saw the young woman studying Riddick intently. When she had finally had her fill she twisted free of Rude's grasp and said scornfully,

" I should have known. Tseng told me what might be going down here but I didn't think even you could be that stupid!" She pointed to Rude's cousin. "You know he has the biggest bounty in the world on his head don't you? Not even being a Turk will save you if you're found out harbouring him."

"Then we'll have to make sure we don't get found out!" Reno barked at the same time Rude whispered,

"Tseng knew?"

"C'mon Rude," Reno directed his laser glare at his partner," there ain't much the dot head don't know."

"Don't call him that!" Elena squealed fuelled to new fury.

"I said shut up," Riddick repeated ominously. The small gathering fell silent once more and he stepped forward, circling Elena like some great predator inspecting his prey. At length he asked, "Is this Tseng going to make trouble for Rude?"

Like a rabbit in headlights Elena stared up wide eyed and squeaked,

"I don't know. He just told me to check these two out and report if I saw anything suspicious."

"And did you?" The question was ambiguous enough but the look on the Furyan's face was not. Shaking her pale fringe from her eyes Elena looked at Reno and said spitefully,

"I saw him going back to the office after hours voluntarily; that's the most suspicious thing ever!"

"Why you…" Reno made to dash forward but found himself jerked back by the collar as Riddick drawled,

"I think she likes you, Red." He gave a guffaw of laughter.

Twisting free and straightening himself the red haired Turk satisfied himself with a murderous glare towards the small blonde woman.

"Enough," Rude said quietly. "This isn't getting our work done. Elena," he turned to face his colleague," what exactly did Tseng say to you?"

"I told you," she replied with a petulant jut to her lip. "Follow you, report if I saw anything suspicious."

"Suspicious like what?"

"Like him," she gestured towards Riddick with her head.

"He told you to look for me?" Riddick raised a quizzical eyebrow and cocked his head to one side, his arms folded over his chest.

"He…he said…he said he understood the conflict that family and duty might cause." She blurted the sentence hurriedly her cheeks pink and she refused to meet Rude's mirrored stare.

"Pity he didn't tell you how to find what we were looking for if he was that concerned," Reno sniped.

"Ha! Well, as a matter of fact he did," Elena snapped back. Her flush deepened as the three men concentrated their full scrutiny on her until she finally murmured," he said if there was no other way I was to tell you what he'd discovered."

"Why you little fink! He didn't tell you to follow us at all!" Reno started forward again but was stopped this time by Riddick's iron bar of an arm across his chest.

"What would your boss man know about me?" Riddick rumbled softly. "He don't know me; he don't know what I'm after or why I'm here."

"The girl," Elena had now shrunk back against Rude her courage wilting before the figure in front of her. "He knows you're looking for a girl and he knows she was travelling with scum, I mean, mercenaries," she amended hastily.

"You had it right the first time," the Furyan told her absently. His dark gaze was on his cousin now, his indecision evident as he tried to figure whether he had been betrayed or not. Like a panther he walked across to Rude and stood eyeball to eyeball; goggles to glasses having pushed Elena to one side. "Did you get sick of working for a living cuz? Figure you might send some gil to the folks back home and be a big man?"

"No way would he do that," Reno broke in sharply.

The Furyan turned to look at him. In the half light of the apartment the man's skin was slick from his recent shower; a ghostly outline which made Reno balk inwardly. In a sudden flurry of movement Riddick crossed the room and yanked the shades on the window shut deepening the gloom even more. Before he could react Reno found himself held up against the wall by his throat, one massive hand around his windpipe, the other reaching up to pull off the goggles covering Riddick's eyes. The Turk gasped as two shining silver discs stared into his own pale blue pupils. It gave an eerie sensation; an absence of emotion or compassion; it wasn't even like looking into a mirror since the Furyan's eyes threw no reflection back. He seemed to stare beyond his captive's outer shell, down deep, deep where there was no way of hiding.

"Leave him Riddick," Rude's voice broke the spell. "No-one betrayed you. That letter must have been through several sets of hands by the time I got it; who knows if anyone looked at it along the way?"

The Furyan replaced his goggles and released Reno who sagged against the wall catching his breath. The big man asked if he needed to track down Tseng but before anyone could answer Elena's PHS chirped into life and because she had less sense than a gopher, Reno thought irritably, she answered it.

"Yes sir, yes sir, of course; I'll tell him, yes sir." She closed the mobile and slipped it back into her pocket. "I know where the girl is," she said tightly.

….

"They sold her?"

If Riddick had been frightening before he was terrifying now. The news that the mercenaries had sold the girl Jack to Don Corneo had set blood vessels in his temple pulsing. A red flush made his skin look as if it was on fire as he strode from end to end of the small living room space and the news that no man had ever set foot in Corneo's mansion and come back out alive save the man himself and his bodyguards had sent his fury ratcheting up yet another notch.

"Actually that's not quite true," Reno had muttered unwisely, "Strife went in there and got out again."

"Via the sewers," Elena sneered," and who knows what he got up to in there."

"How did he get in?" Riddick demanded.

"He had a girl with him and she dressed him up as…no…oh no, no, no." Too late he noticed Rude's frantic throat slicing gestures telling him to shut the hell up. Riddick's face lit up in a demonic leer.

"So if we could get a man in there, he could let us in after him."

"She's a girl, send her!" Gallantry deserted the red headed Turk as he pointed to Elena.

"Oh we will," Riddick grinned," but she needs help and I don't think Furyan's are made for dresses." He glanced at Rude who was trying hard to stifle his amusement at the thought of Reno's humiliation.

"Well thanks partner!" Reno spat angrily, "that's the last time I help you with anything outside of work!"

"I don't need him," Elena said with cool nonchalance," besides he looks more like a punter than a prostitute; seedy; scuzzy."

"Yeah ok, we get the picture," Reno scowled. He had in fact used The Honey Bee Inn's facilities once or twice but strictly in his capacity of intelligence gathering. Paying for female company was as alien and unnecessary to him as, well, wearing a frock. He stared gloomily at the floor and wondered if prayer might be worth a shot. There had to be a way out of the situation he thought as his mind ticked frantically. It was a pity no-one had decided a helicopter was essential for the mission; as the only pilot he would be indispensable. A light bulb lit up in his head as the answer materialised. Two birds with one stone: Not only would he avoid cross-dressing but there was every chance he could land Cloud Strife in a world of sorry at the same time.

The first thing to do, he decided, would be to plant the idea in Riddick's head. Ignoring Elena's dark looks he strolled up to the door of the bedroom where the Furyan had retreated – presumably to finish styling his hair Reno thought with a sarcastic snigger. His smile vanished as the darkened goggles over the silver eyes locked onto him.

"Going to try and change my mind?" Riddick's grin was not friendly; but it was a grin. Reno shrugged feigning indifference.

"Just thought maybe you should have all the facts at your disposal, you know?"

The taller man lifted his chin slightly to show he was listening, so Reno went on,

"You were right to be suspicious about how our boss knows all about this Jack; not because of Rude but because of the guy who couriered the letter."

Riddick sat on the bed which sagged under his weight. Reno swallowed hard but kept his voice level.

"His name is Strife; Cloud Strife…"

"The guy who dressed up before," Riddick nodded.

"Yeah, well, cross-dressing isn't his only vice; he once claimed to be a member of SOLDIER; he wasn't but he was a mercenary after SOLDIER disbanded. Blew up a lot of shit and wrecked Shinra, almost."

At the mention of the 'M' word Riddick stiffened slightly. Everyone had a tender spot Reno thought to himself, the trick was to find it and apply just enough pressure.

"You're saying he would've sold information to this Tseng?"

Reno shrugged again. "Tseng has a lot of sources and he isn't picky when it comes to acquiring Intel. Strife is always hurting for money; he has two adopted kids to care for and his girlfriend's bar doesn't bring in much gil at the end of the day." He stopped. Part of effective manipulation was knowing when to let the mark do a little independent thinking.

"So, you have a better idea of how to get into this Corneo's place?"

Reno shrugged a third time and pushed his hands deeper into the pockets of his jacket.

"Maybe. I have access to a helicopter and I'm the best pilot in the area. Send Strife in to get your girl up onto the roof and we can lift her straight out; minimum mess, minimum blood."

"And why exactly would this ex-merc wanna help me?" Riddick seemed amused by the plan.

"Like I said, he has kids, he has a girlfriend; I'm sure you're good at helping people come around to your point of view."

Riddick nodded thoughtfully finally adding," And the bonus for you is that you don't have to get all dressed up." The red-headed Turk agreed such an alternative was an attractive one as far as he was concerned. He then slipped back to the living room where Rude was still trying to calm Elena. Riddick needed time to mull over the alternative plan.

…..

Picking up the two children Lockheart and Strife had fostered turned out to be surprisingly simple. So easy, in fact, that Reno felt almost guilty. They were clean, well-cared for and well-fed but his memory wasn't so short that the Turk recalled how irresistible the lure of candy could be for those too impoverished to have it on a regular basis. Two paper bags; chocolate mice for the girl and gobstoppers for the boy had overcome their initial caution. That and the fact Elena had been shoved into their classroom, suitably disguised of course, to pose as a new student teacher. All it had taken was a word or two of praise for Marlene's crayoned artwork and a show of interest in the pointless pipe-rack Denzel was constructing, and the children were practically following her around like lost moogles. They probably could have saved money on the candy.

Tifa and Cloud worked hard, Reno knew that for a fact; thought them fools because of it truth be told, and it was likely the kids never got quite as much time and attention as kids everywhere seemed to want or need. He shifted his shoulders uncomfortably inside his jacket as Elena walked her charges over to the truck where he and Rude were waiting. Strife was going to be furious; Tifa was going to be furious! He'd seen her chew Cloud out once and had no wish to be on the receiving end of her unleashed temper. Reno bit his lip and frowned. On the other hand, it meant not wearing a dress. The scales of his mind tipped so sharply his conscience was catapulted somewhere so distant it was unlikely to bother him again for some time.

As soon as they saw the dark suits the children understood they had been tricked. Tears of hurt betrayal trickled down Marlene's small face whilst the boy flushed with scarlet anger at how easily he had been taken in. Hardening his heart Reno snapped at them to sit down and shut the hell up while Rude floored the accelerator and the truck weaved through the backstreets towards Shinra HQ. Elena, left standing on the street, turned and headed toward Seventh Heaven. The next part of her job was breaking the news to Tifa and Cloud and setting out the terms of getting the children back. She sighed; she had only just seen off the bruises of Reno's handiwork the other night.

It did not, predictably, go that well although the scuffling and violence was over relatively quickly. It had apparently been Tifa who had been most easily won over; she had pointed out to Cloud he was being asked to do nothing he hadn't already been asked to do before and when a certain Aeris Gainsborough's name had been flung into the mix he had, Elena claimed, backed down so fast she'd almost had to run to catch up with him as he fled from the bar.

"Don't forget your damned frock!" the dark haired woman had screamed flinging a purple creation out of the upper window of the bar as Cloud tried to kick start his bike. "Especially as SHE chose it to compliment your pretty blue SOLDIER eyes!"

Reno had grinned inwardly as the story was relayed back to him Rude and Riddick. He'd had an inkling the late Cetra was still a sore point in the Strife/Lockheart household but he hadn't realised it was that tender. He stored the information up for later use.

"When this is done, I will kick your ass so hard…" Cloud Strife was growling ominous threats in his direction, he realised. Reno glanced down at the sheaf of crumpled purple material in his hand.

"Just shut up and put on your dress," he said snidely.

Riddick had laughed loudly and the blonde former mercenary's face had flushed almost as red as Reno's hair. After admonishing Strife to 'play nice' the Furyan had issued orders for Reno to secure a helicopter while Elena went shopping for make-up and a dress for herself. He and Rude were going to find some fire power he announced; guns which could not be traced back to Shinra or his cousin. He had noticed Clouds intense blue eyes darting everywhere and said,

"Don't bother looking. They're safe but they ain't here. You'll get 'em back once the job is done." Then he had shrugged on his dusty voluminous cloak, pulled the hood over his all too recognisable shaved head and followed Rude out of the apartment.

Cloud had lunged at Reno almost as soon as the door had closed and a brief but bitter scuffle had ended with the blonde man pinned against one wall, Reno's mag rod jammed painfully beneath his jaw.

"Think you'd remember I'm a southpaw by now," the Turk grinned relishing his victory despite breathing hard. "Catches so many people out."

"Leave him Reno," Elena said half bored, half angry, "go get that chopper; we don't have very much time to get to the rendezvous."

With a final smirk the taller man straightened and sauntered out leaving his least favourite person in the world to suffer the tender ministrations of his second least favourite person in the world. He sighed happily. You took your kicks where you could find them.

…..

The cleared ground just on the outskirts of Edge was one of the few areas close to the city where a chopper could be landed safely; the truck and Elena's car were already waiting for him when Reno set the bird down expertly.

The two Furyans were weighed down by an arsenal of illegal firearms which could quell a small army and as they loaded them into the rear of the craft Elena and Cloud emerged from the car.

Choking down the smart-ass wisecracks he knew would not help matters Reno had to stop himself goggling at the transformation his colleague had wrought on Strife. The man's perpetually spiked hair had been liberally sprinkled with 'stardust' to make it twinkle and his eyes, incandescent with rage, peered out from between what looked like two large dead giant spiders. Rouge and powder had covered any hint of blonde stubble and his combat boots had been swapped for a pair of teetering heels which peeked out from beneath the disturbingly tight purple dress he had on. The final insult came as he attempted to climb into the chopper. The skirt of the gown was too restricting so Riddick had hoisted him unceremoniously inside and slapped the young man's backside for good measure. Reno had actually thought Cloud might kill the Furyan but the bald headed fugitive had merely grinned and waved a warning finger at him before holding up Marlene's pink hair ribbon.

With a feeling of real unease in his gut Reno flicked switches and checked dials as he prepared to take to the air again. Riddick was bad-ass; he made The Turks look like choir boys! Pulling on his headset he watched the ground fall away as the chopper blades reached full spin and he banked the bird lazily to the side to head towards the area of the city where Corneo's infamous mansion could be found. It was a short trip and he was able to drop onto a flat roof just a few buildings over from Corneo's house of fun.

Elena in her little black dress dropped with practised ease onto the cracked tarmac of the roof and Cloud, a little less elegantly, followed. It was then Reno felt the unmistakeable cold steel of a gun barrel press just behind his ear; the same ear which registered the snick of a trigger being cocked.

"Whoa, whoa what's up?" he asked raising his hands from the controls.

"Nothing's up," Riddick rumbled softly. "Just a small change of plan." He reached over to unclip the pilot harness of Reno's seat pulling off the headset as he did so. "I've decided they need a little more help." He gestured toward Elena and Cloud with his chin and the Turk felt his blood run a little colder.

"What about the chopper…" he began.

"Did I forget to mention I'm a pilot too?" The leer widened. "Just thought you should have all the facts at your disposal."

As he stumbled into the rear section of the helicopter Reno saw Rude level a semi-automatic at his kinsman's head.

"There's no need for that," the big Turk said coldly. "They can manage without him."

The tension in the group built to screaming point. Reno knew full well the two figures on the roof had only small hand weapons secreted about their person; their chances of taking on Riddick and winning were not good. There wasn't enough room to manoeuvre for him to reach his mag rod or gun and Riddick probably knew that for Rude to fire a semi in their confined space would be suicidal for all of them. The Furyan on the other hand could finish Rude as easily as blinking and still insist on seeing the job through. Reno swallowed hard.

"I don't have anything to where," he joked weakly.

"Pass it to him," Riddick barked at Elena and the female Turk shoved a bag across the floor towards him. A swathe of emerald green velvet spilled out followed by glittery pumps.

"You expect me to wear THAT?" Self-preservation evaporated as Reno stared in horror at the slinky velvet sheath. "Where the hell am I going to hide anything?"

"That's your problem," Riddick guffawed again but he cut his laughter short as Rude raised his weapon slightly. "Don't," he growled quietly.

"Let it go Rude," Reno spoke up. "Easier and quicker to just do this."

His partner stared inscrutably for several long heartbeats. Finally he said with menace,

"When you leave, you better move fast because once this is done you are no longer family to me."

It was obvious how heavy an implication his words carried. Although his face did not change as such Riddick absorbed their impact like a blow. To an outcast like him being disowned by what little family he had could not be easy but the moment passed. Jabbing Reno sharply with his gun he ordered the Turk to change into his outfit and get some make-up on his face. Insolently he batted the barrel of Rude's weapon aside and began arming himself for a possible combat.

"If you're not out in two hours we come in after you," he said without looking up, "so be out in less than that."

Emerging from his shelter behind the helicopter Reno wobbled into view. The gown reached his ankles so he had been able to tuck his knife into the holster on his calf. A set of brass knuckles rested uncomfortably inside his boxer shorts and another small dagger nestled in his clutch bag.

Reaching up Elena pulled his hair free of its ponytail and shook the fiery locks across his shoulders. She expertly applied a few swoops of lipstick, eye paint and mascara then stood back to admire her handiwork.

"I'm not having that sparkly shit in my hair," Reno whined.

"You don't need it," she replied with a mean smile. "In fact you're so pretty you hardly need any make-up at all."

Cloud Strife made no effort to hide his sniggers at that remark and the two men squared off as if to stage a replay of their earlier conflict.

"Get going," Riddick interrupted. "We don't have much time. I'm guessing some sort of alarm will be triggered if the pimp can get to it and if I go down your kids and your partner go down with me." He looked at Cloud and Rude to press home his point then slid the door of the chopper shut. Rude's stricken face appeared behind the thick bullet proof glass. He looked angry, confused and torn. Reno pulled a 'don't worry about it' face and turned away to follow Elena and Cloud down the narrow stairway off the roof.

…

Tripping and mincing the odd trio made their way towards Corneo's mansion.

"You knew about this and didn't tell me," Reno ground out between aching teeth, "I won't forget that you know."

"I didn't exactly have much choice Reno," Elena shot back, "besides Tseng told me to do whatever it took to get Riddick out of Midgar as quickly as possible without you or Rude being found out."

"Hmph, wish I could get my hands on fucking Tseng right now!"

"Wish I could get my hands on a camera," Cloud Strife quipped which earned him a ferocious scowl from Reno.

The guards at the door leered and slobbered as they frisked the 'girls' for weapons and Reno wondered seriously if Corneo deliberately only employed men with appalling eyesight. He gave one of them a stinging slap for being just a little too thorough, remembering to unclench his fist at the very last minute.

"You should have taken your underwear off!" Elena hissed as they were ushered into the inner sanctum to await Corneo's pleasure. "They make a vpl in your dress."

"I don't even want to know what the fuck a vpl is," Reno hissed back, "But short of a blowtorch job no-one in this place is getting my underwear off. Besides I got stuff hidden in there."

His colleague's snort of laughter earned her a withering glance and as the guard pulled the double doors closed behind them Reno looked at Cloud with dawning horror on his face.

"Please tell me you have underwear on?"

"Wouldn't you like to know, TURK?"

"No," Reno shook his head frantically," no, I really don't!"

The room was opulently furnished with red velvet and gold everywhere and lurid pornographic murals on every wall.

"That isn't even possible!" Reno leaned sideways in an effort to take in the image he was looking at.

"Never mind that," Cloud went to the doors and listened carefully. "I don't think they've left anyone outside; we should head for the entertainment suite and get Riddick's girl. I don't know my way up to the roof so that's going to take time." He grimaced at his companions. "I don't think him and Rude storming this place would benefit anyone."

Once in the deserted hallway Reno slipped off the glittery pumps and hefted them like weapons, one in each hand. Cloud gave him an admiring glance and admitted,

"I never even thought of doing that."

"Maybe you just like wearing them too much," Reno grouched back. His clutch bag had been confiscated at the door and the spike heels were a poor replacement for his knife in his mind. He was wondering how to access his brass knuckles without major embarrassment when their first real problem announced itself.

Pointing silently Cloud indicated that the entertainment suite was to their left down a short corridor however it quickly became evident that not only were there two very large guards on the entry but also Elena, Reno and Cloud were far too overdressed to gain admittance. Two sets of male eyes popped as through the open doors they spied girls in diaphanous wisps of material which left nothing to the imagination sweep by, or else tiny teeny sets of underwear which strained at the seams and barely covered their owners assets bounce provocatively to the throbbing beat of the music playing in the entertainment suite. Elena huffed and gave both of them a smack in the chest to bring them back to the present.

"We have to get in there," she said sotto voice.

"I was thinking exactly the same thing," Reno replied plaintively. Cloud coughed softly.

"I don't think either of us is going to be able to help you Elena."

"What? Why?" She looked furious in the murky half-light until she followed Cloud's shamefaced glance downward and saw what the problem(s) were. "You are disgusting, both of you!"

"No, we're human," Reno snapped trying desperately to think of baseball or his dead grandmother's pet moogle which had smelled like a midden, "human and male! It's a biological reaction we can't control it!"

With a final disbelieving glare she turned away and sashayed up to the guards who had been watching them with a little too much interest for comfort. Distracted by her heavily made-up eyes and seductive pout they momentarily lost interest in her companions huddled at the end of the hall. Seeing an opportunity Cloud punched Reno hard in the arm which effectively defused his problem down below. The Turk returned the favour and, divested of their embarrassment, the two men hitched up their skirts and sprinted to the assistance of their team-mate.

The guards did not even see them coming; they were too engrossed in Elena's demonstration to prove she had nothing hidden in her stockings. Reno's brass knuckles slid comfortably onto his fingers and even more comfortably across the skull of one of the guards. Cloud clobbered the other and they were able to slip into the entertainment suite unmolested.

Up close it was plain to see most of the girls were apparently dosed up with something. Their glazed eyes rolled wildly as they performed lascivious dance moves and ran their hands over both their own bodies and those of their companions.

"Don't even contemplate it," Elena warned grimly as the two men skidded to a halt in the middle of the writhing girls. "Either you control your impulses or I will!" She balled up her small fists and Reno, at least, felt his ardour flee to hide where Elena would not find it.

"How the hell are we supposed to find Riddick's girl?" he asked.

"I have a photograph," Elena pulled a folded print out of her cleavage and handed it to Reno.

Crushing the impulse to tell her it was still warm he unfolded the paper and stared dumbfounded at the image before him.

"That's a boy!"

The picture did indeed resemble an adolescent boy with a head shaved in the same fashion as Riddick and Rude.

"Irony, huh?" Cloud sneered rolling his eyes as he peered over Reno's arm.

Exasperated Elena snatched it back, produced a pencil from somewhere and scribbled in hair.

"Oh yeah, that's much better," Reno glared dripping sarcasm. Cloud gripped his arm and pointed,

"There!"

Amazingly the blonde man was right. On the far side of the room lolled a girl, surely no more than thirteen or fourteen, dressed in some sort of pyjamas. Her hair was actually not that different from Elena's artistic effort and the incongruous sight of teddy bear patterned flannel amongst so much bare flesh made Reno's stomach turn slightly. Having ascertained, with difficulty, that the semi-conscious girl was Jack, Cloud and Elena pulled her to her feet and hustled her back out into the hallway.

"Where now?" Reno was behind them covering their retreat but when it became obvious the younger man had no clue how to get up onto the roof he pushed in front and trotted to the end of the hallway. "It's this way, hurry!"

"How do you know?" Elena panted trying to stop Jack's wrists slipping free of her grasp.

"I don't," Reno replied over his shoulder," But I'm sure as hell not going that way."

A quick check in the opposite direction told them Corneo himself and his five personal bodyguards had arrived at the room they had recently left. It would take no more than minutes for them to guess what had happened, give or take a few actual details of course, and Reno didn't want to be anywhere near the fallout when it came. Especially not in a dress. He still had the spike heeled pumps in his hands and the brass knuckles on his fingers but Corneo's men would have guns. Without his trusty mag-rod and the freedom to execute flying kicks the Turk felt at a distinct disadvantage.

"Reno wait." Elena's voice was struggling as she fought for breath. They had slung Jack between her and Cloud as their height difference was less pronounced but the girl was dead weight; she was providing no assistance, in fact her inane giggling and tripping feet were a positive hindrance. Mind racing the red-headed Turk looked around him. Just visible behind a heavy red velvet curtain he saw the corner of a door. Wherever it led had to be better than standing in the open waiting to be found he decided and Ifrit knew, they were due some goddamned luck! Pulling back the material he yanked on the handle; it was locked. Cursing he jammed one of the heels into the lock and slammed his brass knuckles against the shoe as hard as he could. There was a crack; the shoe fell to the floor minus its heel and a second later the door swung open slightly. The four of them darted through and found themselves faced with a narrow winding staircase.

"Yesss!" Reno punched the air victoriously and shoved the other three in front of him. "Go!" he ordered, "I'll cover you."

There was only room for single file on the stairs and Reno reckoned he sweated his own body weight in anxiety by the time they reached the ramshackle little door which opened on to the roof. As they burst through they heard the angry shouts of Don Corneo's men start up at the bottom of the stairs and they ran as far out onto the flat roof as they could. Seconds later the drone of the approaching helicopter guided them to the parapet where Riddick hovered the bird easily so that they could all pile in. a few stray bullets pinged from the metal doorframe raising sparks as they drew away but Corneo's men were too far away to do much damage. Sprawled against the far wall, his breath coming in gasps Reno made a very rude gesture in their direction and offered a little unfriendly advice as to where they might consider storing their weapons in future.

"That wasn't very ladylike." Rude's face was looking down at him an unfamiliar smile stretching his features.

"Shut up," Reno barked but his eyes were smiling when he said it. Ignoring all protests he immediately stood up, tore off the green velvet gown and stood shivering in his boxers as he tugged on first the trousers of his trademark Turk suit and then his white shirt and dark jacket. He clipped his mag-rod to his left wrist and shook it out in readiness as the helicopter dipped to land. "I'm going to kill him," Reno said quietly.

"Wait." Rude shook his head and laid one heavy arm on his friends shoulder. Against his better judgement Reno did as he was asked and was shocked when Riddick came rushing through before the blades had even stopped turning to gather the still semi-conscious Jack in his arms. Wordlessly he cradled the girl against him and eventually mumbled,

"Thank you." He did not look up or meet any of the eyes staring down at him in disbelief; instead he held out his hand for Elena's car keys, lifted Jack with deceptive ease and jumped out of the chopper to head for the waiting vehicle.

"The kids," Cloud said angrily.

"They're already home with Tifa," Elena said tiredly. "Tseng gave them a tour of the Shinra building then sent them home in a private car."

The look on the blonde man's face was priceless.

"You never even had them?"

"Not as such," the small blonde woman looked up at him candidly. "We just did what we had to do." She looked over at the two Furyans who were making their farewells. "Like he did."

….

The day had been a long one. Reno yawned and stretched his back cracking and clicking alarmingly: Meetings, paperwork, a lecture from Rufus Shinra about vehicles going missing from the carpool, more paperwork and as a final insult escort duty to one of the city's most boring dinners ever. He was more than ready for home but Rude had expressed the wish to grab a drink on the way home; something he rarely initiated. Their footsteps took them inexorably towards Seventh Heaven.

They had not seen or spoken to Cloud since the episode with Riddick some weeks ago and were uncertain of the welcome Tifa Lockheart might give them, gil or no gil. But they were Turks; they went where they wished and backed down from no man – or woman. Casually they made their way to their regular table and waited for someone to take their order. Within minutes two jars of fruit wine slopped onto the table in front of them and Tifa's dark eyes stared down.

"Hey," Reno tried weakly," how you doing Tifa?"

The former martial arts fighter leaned over, her knuckles resting on the scarred surface of the table and her impressive breasts filling the immediate horizon.

"Only the fact that Marlene and Denzel came home unharmed and loaded down with free gifts saves you two from a severe beating and a lifetime ban," she enunciated slowly. "You ever lay a hand on those kids again…"

"You have my word it will never happen," Rude interrupted with soft sincerity.

Flustered Tifa straightened quickly and Reno noted a slight blush on her pretty face; more information to squirrel away.

"Well then, we'll say no more," she made to move away but hesitated. "Those drinks are on the house by the way."

Startled Reno looked up sharply, he had already sampled his. "What's wrong with them?" he demanded.

"Nothing," a faint smile lit up her features. She glanced at Rude and said shyly, "He burned that purple dress." Then she left them both open-mouthed and made her way back to the bar.

Cloud appeared a few moments later.

"Hey didn't recognise you with your pants on," Reno quipped. The blonde man narrowed his eyes and replied,

"I could say the same for you."

Reno's mouth snapped shut, his next insult forgotten. Cloud turned to Rude.

"I have another letter for you."

Both Turks paled and stood up abruptly to leave.

"Send it back," Rude mumbled heading for the door," return to sender; unable to locate recipient."

The stars outside were hidden by a pale green cloud of Mako pollution.

"Reckon they made it?" Reno asked as they walked towards Rude's apartment. The taller man shrugged eloquently.

"Chances are good. Wherever he is Riddick will court trouble; I'm just glad he's not here."

"What do you think that letter was?"

Rude shrugged again. "Don't know; don't care."

"Yeah but what if you won the Shinra Publishing House Free Draw or something; we could millionaires."

"I'd be a millionaire," Rude said placidly. "You'd be a hanger-on."

"Well that's rich after what I went through for you!"

The bickering faded as the night air closed behind them and somewhere, far away, Richard B Riddick strode like a storm in search of safety; in search of peace; in search of the next challenge life would throw before him.

The End


End file.
